Its New

I have to say I'm disappointed that I have no followers at this stage but Good Grief, I'm just getting started.  My topics havent been the best and hopefully soon they will be better.  Forgive me I have been ill and as the rest of you, I have a job to do.............awwww the Corporate power!

I spoke with my mom earlier, checking the weather and her.  I'm getting older to so I try to recommend anything that has helped me that might also help her and and my dear Aunt Lou.  Genetics, my grandparents lived to late 70's and late 80's but I have no idea what my father's side of the family did.  Yep, my father never cared, I was born in the 60's and although I know he went on to have several other children he never cared about what I did or where I was, why should I care about what he did?  I would not know him if he walked up to me on the street and he was married to my mom!

With all the ways of locating your loved ones these days I've never heard from him, ok I never bothered to look for him either but hey, I'm the kid, if he cared wouldnt he have tried?  I guess not, not if I mattered to him.  Later!  Of course being a male and a procreator it wouldnt matter to him that I still exist, would it?

The facts

Here is the deal, honestly right now I'm sick and sleeping weird hours cause of all the meds they have me on.  A normal night during the week and I would have been out hours ago but today I slept most of the day and now although I'm tired, I'm not sleepy.  Seems most of the posts to my new blog are going to be mine but truthfully thats why I started it anyway, agree, disagree, doesnt much matter cause I haven't really started.  I do hope that my blog gains some interest, I am by no means the most intelligent (hey do we have spell check here?) person to ever start a blog but I do have my moments of clarity.
Here are the facts:

• i'm in a bit of a fog
• i'm ending a relationship that well lets just say has lasted for almost 19 years and I'm on the losing end
• for the most part I am content with my life, I have a home that I love, my son is almost grown - ok he is a young man, we have all been there, he is finding his own way.  We all know how tough and lets face it fun (too much) that can be while he finds his way.
•  there are no perfect families 
• and what was I thinking when I thought writing was what I would do when I retired?  HELLO!
• I just recently began writing again, not that I think I'm any where near where I want to be but.............."NEVER LET ANYONE STEAL YOUR DREAMS, NOT EVEN YOURSELF"!
• i've had many dreams in my life and honestly the the good Lord blessed me with many abilities, singing, writing, listening, and I dont judge.  Really who am I or is anyone else to judge?  Till you walk in someone elses's (spell check) shoes who are you to judge?  What would you do in their place, really, WHAT? Fact is you dont know so how can you say and I WILL NOT HEAR YOU OR ANYONE ELSE PASS JUDGEMENT!
• Yes, I pray, well almost everyday to the Lord that he helps me stick to that.
• I DONT go to church but YES I do believe in a greater being that believes in us..........that is there to help us work through this really strange thing we call life.  Hey, its free will and I do chose to believe, thats my choice!  
• Do I believe that what the bible describes as God's gift to our salvation by the life of his only son?  Father forgive me but I'm not one of the worthy (not for what he suffered) but I hope by being a friend to those who need me that I can offer them the spread of your LOVE AND FORGIVENESS that they may find their free will and honor you with their choice to serve in your service
• I believe in romance.................ALL OF IT!  I just havent been lucky enough to have known it
• I love my family!  I will defend and protect them till my dying breath.  We each have to make our way and sometimes what we find along the way isnt what we were expecting but does it really matter?  The bible says that "blood is life" and it is, ours. WE are our families life, its future, its culture, and the love that we pass along the way.
• its my choice to stay in touch with my roots.  Growing up is hard, we figure out all the misgivings (kindest thing I can think of to describe it.) as we reach that early adult stage and not only are we dealing with "OMG, what am I going to do with my life, but "I thought my family was great, or I thought my family sucked".  A lot became more clear.

Well more later but I really need to sleep now and actually think I can.  Pleasant wishes to you and yours.

Just to start.........

Ever feel like you have something to say but no one is listening?  Honestly I just feel the need to vent sometimes or start talking just to clear my thoughts or bring some since of order to them.  So long story short I thought why not blog?  I can say what I feel like I need to say at the time and who knows I might just make some sense or laugh at my insanity later.

By the way, yes the pic from "How to Train Your Dragon" is one of my favorites. I loved the movie and if you havent seen it, try it, I bet it will put more than one smile on your face or bring one laugh to your  heart!